Why You Want to Drop the Façade to Find Love

Why You Want to Drop the Façade to Find Love

If you’re about to go on a date, I’m going to suggest you don’t make too much of a big effort.

Why? Let me tell you a story...

A man was rich and wanted to find love.

But he faced an issue: were the women there for him or for the lifestyle he could offer?

This man was handsome, very tall and honestly enjoyed going on lavish dates which felt “special”.

He was a romantic and wanted to sweep the woman of his dreams off her feet on the first date, which always started with him collecting the ladies in his big, expensive car.

After years of dating without finding love and several sessions with me, he decided to change the style of his dates. He was going to offer fewer sweeping, indulgent statements and more opportunities for conversation and deeper connections.

This worked for a short time. But deep down, he still wondered if someone could just love him for being him.

Being well-known made it difficult for him to hide his own wealth. He was self-made and believed he wasn’t attached to his money and status.

Over time, we explored his relationship with money, wealth, and love, and we kept discussing how he behaved on dates. As the love of his life still didn't manifest, it was time to shake things up.

When I suggested we do something different, such as borrowing someone else’s small, inexpensive car for his next date, we hit BINGO!

He burst into a 10-minute verbal rant about how preposterous a 6 ft 5” man would look in a small car. He vented his outrage, went quiet, and then sobbed.

The prospect looking ridiculous in the eyes of a woman he might love cut so deep, so quickly, he was able to immediately feel that deep down, he honestly didn’t feel someone could love him for him.

We unpacked that instead of him being fully himself, he was making himself into the most attractive package he could, hiding his insecurity behind his money and so denying himself the deep love and connection he craved.

He was hiding behind a facade. 

If you are looking for love as much as you can, be yourself.

Let someone experience you for who you are.

Let’s explain why: being a version of yourself, even if it’s your best version, reduces the free flow of energy in your system.

Without this free flow between your system and someone else’s, it will be difficult to establish how you genuinely feel when you are with another. And if you don’t know how you really feel about yourself, it’s going to be very hard to know how you really feel about anyone else.

If you find it difficult to be yourself on dates or in the arena of love, get help.

We all want love; we all need love, and we believe everyone can find love.