When it comes to love, imperfect can be good.
(Disclaimer: I am not talking about accepting s***!)
Because striving for perfection in love doesn’t work. It doesn't work because it doesn't exist. Strive for perfection in love and you'll find that road exhausting and soul destroying. Why?
Put quite simply we’re not designed for perfect love.
Let me give you an example: a single client of mine wants to be loved, really loved. She’s a great woman: attractive, bright, fun, caring and kind, all the things most people want in a partner. Yet she's alone. She also feels trapped.
She’s trapped because deep down she’s terrified of being ‘found out’. Found out about being less than perfect.
So what does this wonderful woman who wants love do? She dates Mr Wrong; after all it’s never going to work anyway, right?
And that hurts so much less than being exposed as less than perfect if she meets Mr Right.
Whilst there’s a degree of logic in here, she's stuck in a negative cycle. For once Mr Wrong is once again wrong for her, she feels devastated at being rejected by a man she never wanted in the first place.
What’s stopping this woman from finding the love she’s desires isn’t her inability to love or be loved; it isn’t even the fact the chooses Mr Wrong.
What stops her is her own unwillingness to acknowledge and accept the very nature of being human: imperfection and it’s her imperfections that make her feel trapped.
If you don't know this already, here's a secret. You’re not perfect. You weren't designed to be.
Trying to be perfect simply repels the very things you may be working to achieve, receive or feel: real love.
Accept the fundamental nature of being you, including the imperfections.
Accepting imperfections opens your heart to accept you too.
From this space, openness and acceptance, you will find love; simply because in this space you are love. And it's from this space of real love that you can be Ms or Mr Right and finally make room for Mr or Ms Right.
Love Zoe X
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