In order to have fulfilling relationships you need to adhere to one rule over any other: when together, BE together. This sounds simple and it is.
Many people live in a world constantly absorbed by the chatter of mental thinking. Many aren’t even aware of this.
Fulfilling relationships are difficult in this case because, despite how often you are physically together, when you are engaged in thinking you are energetically apart. Your partner cannot enter into your mental space and share it with you and neither can you theirs.
Naturally this means clear verbal communication with one another is important in order to be understood. The problem here is that often, when life and the mind are busy, communication may seem clear to you, but not to your partner. This is when assumptions start to be made and all shared reality with another disappears.
An example I heard recently concerned a failing relationship. When asked why the relationship was no longer fulfilling, the lady replied that the man wasn’t caring for her. I asked for an example. She said that when she came home after a very busy day she had to empty the dishwasher. When asked had she specifically asked him to empty the dishwasher, the answer was no. He was just expected to know. He didn’t and when she asked him why he didn’t support her, he replied that he never knew that emptying the dishwasher meant supporting her.
This is one common example where by a busy life merges with an even busier mind, clarity in communication is diminished and love starts to feel like it’s being lost. It’s also the natural consequence of two people who have stopped BEing together.
If you would like to have more fulfilling relationships, spend time BEing with people, not just in body but in mind and presence. If this is hard for you, and it is for millions of people, a good place to start is by practicing acknowledging your senses. Really look and listen to your partner with as open a heart as you can manage. Smell and taste the meal you eat together and share the experience.
Focusing on your senses will help bring you out of your mind and into the shared environment. It may not get rid of your mental busy-ness but it will help you move into a reality that is at least shared. Whilst your partner may not always agree with your particular sensory likes and dislikes, you are together. And that's what fulfilling relationships is all about: togetherness.
Love Zoe X
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